New reports claim that, basically, Brett Favre is a Class A Creeper. He "allegedly" sent 'below the waist' shots to a former Sports Illustrated columnist. She claims, and I quote, "He sent me numerous photos of his penis, including one in which he's masturbating -- while wearing a pair of Crocs." Obviously, the REAL disturbing thing here is the fact that Brett Favre. Wears. Crocs. My guess is he owns the fleece lined kind. Why, you ask? Because I can only assume those are the more expensive and elite version of the Croc. Plus, who doesn't want to keep their feet toasty while they're slappin the ham?!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Brett Favre Just Couldn't Keep His Croc In His Pants
New reports claim that, basically, Brett Favre is a Class A Creeper. He "allegedly" sent 'below the waist' shots to a former Sports Illustrated columnist. She claims, and I quote, "He sent me numerous photos of his penis, including one in which he's masturbating -- while wearing a pair of Crocs." Obviously, the REAL disturbing thing here is the fact that Brett Favre. Wears. Crocs. My guess is he owns the fleece lined kind. Why, you ask? Because I can only assume those are the more expensive and elite version of the Croc. Plus, who doesn't want to keep their feet toasty while they're slappin the ham?!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
The Dreaded "Dad Jeans"
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tat Tat Tatted Up!
("If you're a bird, I'm a bird")
Justin Bieber got tat tat tatted up! Over the weekend, news reports claim (yes, because his getting a tattoo requires national attention) that he was spotted on the beaches of
Friday, May 14, 2010
Miley's Full-Grown!
You go Miley Cyrus, you go girl! Whew, that felt good getting that off my chest. The little tween deserves some praise for once. She’s constantly getting bashed by the media for “growing up”. Well, the kid had to do it some time. Did people honestly believe she’d be wearin a blonde wig and singin Disney songs such as, ‘Hoedown Throwdown’ for the rest of her life? I didn’t think so. Girl’s got talent. She can sing, she can act, and she actually wears underwear. Basically, she’s a trifecta. Oh, and did I mention that she provides the less fortunate with clothing? Yup. She started a clothing line at Walmart. I bought a pair of Miley shorts for myself the other day, ACTUALLY.
So let me address the important issue of the moment; Miley Cyrus’s new video “I Can’t Be Tamed”. I mean, this is such important news that it’s made the headlines of CNN, ABC News, and National Geographic. (Yea...last one I improvised.) In one article, they write “Writhing in a large nest within a giant birdcage, the 17-year-old pop star, wearing S&M-style gear, looks provocatively at the camera complaining that she feels like a specimen.” Ok, I’m sorry, but if she’s clad in ‘S&M gear’ I’ll eat your hat. She’s wearing a black leotard for heaven’s sake! She’s got bird feathers glued to her, has a makeup artist who obviously doesn’t know how to apply eyeliner, is dancing around lookin like she just had ice poured down her back, and is swimming around in a giant bird’s nest. I’m sorry, but in my book, that doesn’t exactly scream ‘sexy’. Girl’s just havin fun! Good, clean, youngster-type fun! I mean, she’s just a tot practically in a cage with all of
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Hidden Dangers of Curly Fries
Later that night, I hopped into bed wearing a sports bra and shorts. (And no, this is not intended to give anyone a visual. Trust me, that's the last thing I want. For your sake.) I believe I was in the middle of dreaming about being on a deserted island (a result of watching too many episodes of Lost) when I rolled over on my stomach and felt a sharp pain in my left boob, which caused me to wake up. I sat up, pat around my bra and felt a solid object. I reached down into my bra to discover a 4 inch long curly fry that somehow crawled into my bra. Did I mention it was a sports bra? Yea. How the hell does that even happen? I've learned not to question these types of things anymore. It does me absolutely no good. So of course, I ate the fry and went back to sleep. I woke up and went into work this morning, and on the way, my boo text me to ask where I happened to find my breakfast this morning. Smartass.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Most Worthless Excuse for a TV Show...aka "The Hills"
Let me just start out by saying; I see where the producers were going with this show. They wanted to have teenage girls loathe their bodies, wish they were trust fund babies, and be attracted to complete douchebags. And they seemed to have achieved their goal. Within the first 10 minutes, I wanted to trade in my trusty Pontiac for a new Beamer, decided I would officially quit eating, and wanted to figure out; Just what IS Justin Bobby really all about?
One of the many things that I was unable to understand was how these “plastics” just don’t seem to grasp the concept that this is in fact a scripted reality tv show, therefore, they are probably going to have constant run ins with their “frenemies”. So, I don’t get why they kept acting shocked and surprised when they would see their rivals out and about in their own personal favorite hot spots. Uhhh because you’re getting paid to be there, ya dumbshits! You’re getting paid to bring the drama and the cat fights! Basically, you’re just getting paid to be an attractive idiot!
Another thing I seemed to realize is, the deeper I got into the show (Yea, even for haters like myself, it’s easy to get drawn in) I started seeing that during quite a few episodes, it’s like the producers suddenly realized just how pathetic their show was and decided to just give up on creating a story line; thus, proceeding to fill in the empty airspace with music. In other words, when you see Heidi and Spencer just staring at each other with their frozen expressions and tilted heads over dinner, the awkward silence is then filled in by a song from an indie artist trying to make it big. I’m sure they’re ecstatic when they learn that their music is being featured on The Hills. I’m sure it also gives them major cred in the music world.